Self-Advocacy & Self-Trust
Trusting Your Own Voice & Learning to Use It
Why does it seem like others can just listen to their inner voice confidently (SELF-TRUST) and act in accordance with their beliefs (SELF-ADVOCACY)? And why can’t I?
We are all born well-attuned to our needs and wants, but sometimes outside pressures can cause us to lose that connection. In therapy, we’ll get reacquainted with your trustworthy, valuable voice. We’ll explore your intuition and help you amplify your confidence and presence in life.
Somewhere along the line, you’ve gotten the message that your insight is “off.”
That piece of you that knows – just knows – that something’s askew is told “Shhhh, everything’s fine! This is not the thought you’re looking for…”
That dream? It’s silly. Words that hurt? Ignore them. The realization that being a business major doesn’t feel right? Shake it off and push on through. You just know your partner is hiding something? Nah, you’re just being anxious!!
Maybe you’ve trusted yourself in the past and you got it wrong. But the answer isn’t to just shut yourself down in perpetuity. Mistakes happen: we lean in, we learn, and we launch forward with more wisdom.
You’re waiting for a permission that isn’t going to come – not from them at least:
- The doctor who thinks they know best but can’t find space for what’s in front of their eyes
- The society that tells you that people like you are too demanding, dramatic, misguided or unworthy
- The parent whose criticism has outlasted your adolescence and isn’t going anywhere no matter how much you achieve or how rewarding the landscape of your life has become
When you listen to someone else’s more confident voice over your own inner voice’s objections, it almost always leads to things not working out. Unfortunately, you may get stuck in that pattern and not know how to tune in and TRUST yourself and YOUR instincts instead.
We’re taught to override our gut instincts to keep the peace in work, family, and relationships. If we come from a family or community where conflict was legit dangerous and surface calm was celebrated, it can be hard to re-train our brains and bodies to be comfortable with listening to and speaking for ourselves.
Listen up. Your voice matters and it’s the only one that your wise, brave, valuable self has!
If you’re on this page, it’s because, even after whatever happened, that inner voice is still telling you to trust yourself and speak for what’s right, care for yourself, and advocate for your needs. Even if it’s been quieted.
So, you’ve been trying to self-advocate. You know your wisdom matters but you never got a chance to build your self-advocacy skills… to hone your strategy and learn how to be at your most effective when your perspective needs a place. And it can be so crushing when you try hard, speak even louder, expand your passion, and put all your resources in – with minimal results.
When people who need to hear you just aren’t listening or aren’t taking you seriously, it can feel like the only choice is to just stop talking – to stop trying. “What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I matter?” you may wonder.
It might be a shock to find out that you can build some powerful new skills so you can stop spinning your wheels. However, when these skills are new, it sure can feel like we need to stand in front of city hall with a mega phone in order to be heard.
We CAN exist in harmony with others while also staying true to ourselves!
The biggest piece is self-awareness. Getting to know ourselves. We might feel an expansiveness in our chest when we experience attunement, feel safe, proud, or good about things. And if we feel bad about something, we might feel tenseness or a pang in the gut. We might even feel a desire to distract ourselves – maybe with snacks or wine or Netflix – to quiet any inner discord.
Instead of hiding from our signals, we can get curious, build patience, and lean into whatever’s coming up. Over time, the synergy within us becomes more effortless and comfortable. New pathways begin to emerge within us and we feel more present in our lives and relationships.
Sounds like a lot, huh?
I agree. That’s why we’ll go slow and tackle the low hanging fruit first – it’s just as rewarding but easier to reach! This doesn’t need to be like jumping onto a moving train. We’ll start building self-trust and self-advocacy skills and practice them together in our sessions. I can promise you a safe place to find your voice, explore what it’s like to disagree openly, challenge ideas, and assert yourself.
Therapy is a learning lab to better understand yourself and build the self-worth, skills, and courage to use that incredible voice within you to create your best possible life.
You’re not hard-wired to override your wise Self.
Get curious. Build confidence. Make friends with your ideas, instincts and unwavering fierceness. Get in touch!